The World’s First Social Media Sniglets

If you’re a fan of television comedy, you might remember a long-running sketch on “Not Necessarily The News” by Rich Hall called “Sniglets.”  Sniglets are words that aren’t in the dictionary, but should be.  Here are some examples:

AQUADEXTROUS (ok wuh deks trus) n. The ability to turn the faucet on and off with your toes.

CHEEDLE (che dul) n. The residue left on one’s fingertips after consuming a bag of Cheetos.

SNUGGAGE (snug ij) n. Personal belongings stuffed under the airline seat in front of your or in the overhead compartment.

I always loved that bit and got to thinking that there are a few things on the social web that simply should have words. So I made them up. Here we go.

AVATARGET  (ava target) The people you follow on Twitter just because they’re good looking.

CAPTCHAPALOOZA (kap cha pa looza) — The extended event that occurs when you can’t read the damn Captcha security thing over and over and over. Usage: “Sorry I missed our conference call. I was caught in a Captchapalooza.”

EXFOLIATE (ex foal ee ate) A process to un-friend all your ex’s on Facebook.

EXCLAIMY (ex klaymee) Any post or update that has more than three exclamation points. Named for Amy Howell, the Queen of Exclamation. Example of an Exclaimy: “LOL Shoot me RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

G PLUSASAURUS (gee plus asaurus) Any social media dinosaur who still thinks Google Plus is going to kill Facebook.  An endangered species.

An example of Instabran

INSTABRAN (insta bran) New photo sharing site which only features pictures of your breakfast cereal

iPANGLISH (eye pang lish) The new language that occurs when you try to type English on to an iPad with auto-correct.

LIBRE NAUSEUM (Lee-brah Naw-zee-um) Weary feeling you get upon learning that yet another social media guru is writing a book.

MARKOLEPSY (mark oh lepsee) The condition that occurs when my blog puts you to sleep.

MOUSE ARREST (mouse arrest) When your spouse limits the amount of time you can spend on social media.

NIT-TWIT (nit twit) Anybody who tweets you with a complicated question like “How should I start my business plan” or “Can you explain social media to me” and expects an answer over Twitter.

PARENTAL PARALYSIS (parentil pa- ral-isis) Hesitating to post on Facebook because your mom and dad have become your Facebook friends.

QUORGASM (kwor gaz em) When you had a really, really, really good time on Quora.

STOP POPS (stawp pawp)  The pop-up screens that annoy you about subscribing to a newsletter when you go on to a blog site.

TWACKER — (twa ker) The idiots who hack Twitter and send you these stupid “Somebody is saying something horrible about you” messages.

VOWEL-UPTUOUS (vow up-choo-us) The situation you’re in when it’s your turn on Words With Friends and all you have is vowels. Usage:  “Look at those letter tiles. It’s so vowel-uptuous!”

WEINER BOMB (weener bom) The explosion that happens when you send a public tweet that was supposed to be a private tweet. Named to commemorate former U.S. Representative Anthony Weiner.

And what’s the story behind that photo?  I was walking down the street in beautiful New Brunswick, NJ, when this poster promoting the Mexican band Obsesion (roughly translated, this means “obsession”) caught my eye. Wow. Look at those outfits. So I tweeted the photo, exclaiming that I would PAY to be in this band for a week if I got to keep the suit. My new friend Kerry Gorgone complied with this photo-shopped photo that made me laugh so hard I had to share it! 

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