What happens when authenticity and leadership backfire?

One of the most mis-used, over-hyped words on the social web is “authenticity.” Books have been written about authenticity and leadership. We’re bombarded daily by the gurus imploring us to be true and authentic.

But you better be careful of what you ask for. How can authenticity and leadership backfire? Is authenticity what people truly really want or expect?

Under the microscope

I’m about to tell you a story that is very weird and unsettling.

A few years ago, a fellow asked me about an obscure personal connection I had on Twitter. His comment went something like this:

“I noticed that you had not engaged with (name) on Twitter in a few years. I assumed something went wrong in the relationship and I was interested to know if things are better now because I saw you tweeted him.”

Huh???

How in the world did this man know I had not connected with another person on Twitter in years? How did he I know I reconnected, and why is that even important?

For the record, nothing was amiss. I wasn’t even aware my conversations had lapsed with this other person.

But I just had to know … how did this man know this weird detail about me? Turns out he had set up a system of alerts and was tracking my conversations and relationships on Twitter.

Doesn’t that sound WEIRD? Well, it’s not that unusual. Over the years I’ve learned there are quite a few people out there who STUDY ME. It’s beyond stalking. They can remember details of my life even I can’t remember. And all these little snippets become part of what they think about me. It’s inescapable and forever.

And there is a lesson here about authenticity.

Forming your brand

A personal brand is the accumulation of the impressions people have of you. Based on their observations, they may judge your brand to be reliable, insightful, or creepy based on what they see.

So my personal brand with Stalker Man is literally based on EVERYTHING I DO. By the way, this guy was a very accomplished and well-known business professional. He’s considered an influencer.

My point is that your brand is everything you do, and everything you don’t do.

Nothing escapes from the Personal Brand Black Hole.

Every step you take

One time I was speaking at a conference and the speaker before me — pretty famous dude — showed up drunk. It was 10 in the morning. It was the worst speech I’ve ever seen … by far. It was so obscene and weird that half the people walked out of the room. He was scalded on social media. The event organizer had to apologize.

To me, that is now his brand. Would I ever recommend him or hire him? Never.

Actions carry disproportionate weight on a brand.

This guy made a grotesquely bad impression. Has he changed over the years? How would I know? But that image is burned in my mind. The point is, you need to think about ALL the impressions you’re making in your world, because that’s becoming your brand.

• If you want to be known as the best business coach out there, should you be posting about all the clients you lost this week?
• If you want to be hired as a high-paid and reliable consultant to top brands, how are people judging you when you post about your battles with alcoholism and depression?
• What do your party-hard Instagram photos say about you and your values?

I want to emphasize that there is certainly a place to talk about depression, alcoholism, and other problems, especially if your goal and role are to help others suffering in those ways.

But just be aware that if that is the flag you choose to fly, it becomes your brand, everywhere … and probably forever.

Authenticity and leadership are trendy

I know this post flies in the face of today’s social media mantras. Aren’t we all supposed to be authentic?

Am I authentic?

I’m honest. I think there’s a difference, and I think that is what people really want and expect.

I don’t overshare, but I share enough about my life that people can see what I believe in. I share enough so people can connect with me emotionally and trust me. And I also live in a way that demonstrates my values at all times because there are no secrets any more.

Your brand is always on.

People always watch the leader. And you want to be the leader, right? You’ll lose your credibility if you don’t walk the talk.

Need an inspiring keynote speaker? Mark Schaefer is the most trusted voice in marketing. Your conference guests will buzz about his insights long after your event! Mark is the author of some of the world’s bestselling marketing books, a college educator, and an advisor to many of the world’s largest brands. Contact Mark to have him bring a fun, meaningful, and memorable presentation to your company event or conference.

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